On Messes {And Motherhood}



Right now, I am lying in bed with my ankle up (more on that in a minute) contemplating the messiness that is motherhood.

These last two weeks have included the following:
  • I found the shreds of an opened box underneath my daughter’s bed and a toy well played with… belonging to a present we had bought for her friend's birthday.
  • Shampoo was spilled onto my carpet… and not because I wanted to “shampoo the carpets.”
  • My son smurf-ified his head by smothering my favorite baby-blue colored lotion all through his hair and topping it off with a few squirts of my very blue mud mask. (On a more positive note, we may have discovered how to tame his frizzy hair.)
  • A full juice box was left on the carpet and later stepped on.
  • A brand new box of cheerios was dumped on the floor.
  • A box containing tiny beads was spilled on the floor.
  • A glass cup was shattered and a ceramic bowl broken.
  • My daughter played beauty parlor with my make-up… on herself and her brother.
  • My son opened a brand new, 260-pack of Ziploc sandwich bags and spread them on the floor. As soon as I picked up the last one, he did it all over again.
  • I brought in 2 laundry baskets full of items that have ended up in the back seat of my car… things like 6 pairs of shoes, socks, jackets, pants, toys, and of course a few random gold fish. I can’t believe how fast it gets so bad.


Each time I find a mess, this little part of me feels like a failure. Like I am constantly behind. Like the moment I have one room clean, an even bigger mess has erupted in another room.

Sometimes I feel like a really bad mom.

I think of how my house is always messy, how boxes are still sitting in my bedroom and office after moving one month ago. How long does it really take to get settled into a home? I think of how bedtime still takes over an hour and is still a battle after one month of moving Jed into his sister’s room. Why can’t you figure this one out? I think of how if I hadn’t stepped out of the room or how if I could just multi-task a little better, my kids wouldn’t be able to make such big messes. You are not enough. You are failing.

And then last night… I turned on the bath water. I thought of how much my son would love a bubble bath. I sat his bare bottom on his potty chair for practice and went running for the other bathroom to locate the bubble bath. And as I bounded into my room, I stepped wrong on my foot, and my body and foot went one direction and my ankle went another direction.

I screamed out for my husband. And the first words out of my mouth were something like “Oh! It hurts! I think I broke my ankle.” But my second words weren’t for my husband to help me, they were: “Jed is on the potty and the water is running. Get him.”

I was a mother laying on the floor in pain lifting up her son. My ankle may have gotten it wrong, but my heart got it right.

Motherhood is a messy business. It doesn’t look like perfection. It doesn’t look like Pinterest. Children push you to your very limit of patience. They bring out your short-comings.

And I am sure that one day, I will look back with much laughter on the day that I sprained my ankle while running for bubble bath solution. And in some weird way, it was the reminder I needed that I really am a good mom. I go out of my way to give my kids good things. I love them with my whole being. I love them when it’s easy, and I love them when it hurts.

Even in my spill, I see the way I am more than the sum of my messes.

I am Mom. Boo-boo kisser. Storybook animator. Teacher of things like why snails leave behind a trail and what private parts are and why farting at the dinner table isn't polite. I am a talent-finder. An encourager. An exhorter. An evangelist and disciple-maker. I am a mess-cleaner. A schedule-maker and an occasional mind-reader. I am a perfect mac-and-cheese creator. I am a life-enthusiast and a passion-instiller.

And God… God is a beautiful-tapestry weaver. And He takes it all, stretches the messes and the triumphs across the loom and weaves His Grace through it all. 

And He makes beautiful things.



What is your messiest moment from the week?Share it with us in the comments here or on my facebook page.


I will be back tomorrow with a second part to this post, some raw truth on failure and motherhood. See you soon. Xo


By Grace,
Amanda Conquers 



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