On Beauty

There is a war going on in me every day.

I sense it when I look in the mirror and see a woman with winding-mountain-road curves where a wiry girl used to stand. I look more tired, older somehow… and acne (it’s like I am going through puberty all over again… at 30! Who knew you don’t always get to outgrow pimples?!).

I sense it when I am running behind in the morning and make-up no longer seems worth it. I sense it when my wardrobe is seriously outdated, but the kids are growing like weeds and the budget is tight. I let that be my excuse to let another season pass without a single update.

I sense it when the house is a wreck, and I am tired.  Instead of nap, I will drudge through housework until I wonder what’s on Facebook, and then I will just stare mindlessly at that because I am just.so.tired.

I sense it at the end of the day, after I’ve homeschooled, cleaned messes, driven kids to gymnastics, cooked dinner, and put the kids in bed.  I want alone time. And I don’t want to drink water and eat carrot sticks while I catch up on a tv show. I kind of want to bury my face in brownie pie.

But here’s the thing. The war isn’t me versus weight. Or me versus make-up time. Or me versus the small budget. The war is being waged on my worth.  Because if I can buy into how the enemy wants me to see myself, maybe I can also buy into the lie that God doesn't love me. And maybe I can raise my kids in the most subtlest of ways to think women and mothers don’t have much value because mommy doesn’t think she does.

Really, the hard part isn’t actually finding the time for a beauty routine, exercise, or eating well… it’s actually seeing yourself as worth the time.

It’s about loving yourself.

Where you are. How you are.

It’s what Jesus does for us. He doesn’t look at the long list of all the ways we fall short. He just loves. He sees value. Not just potential value. But value. As in now.

He loves you now.

Just me...learning to love me

Maybe this seems like a weird comparison. But it’s like the person who thinks the way to Jesus is through following the law. Eating right and having an exercise routine is immensely beneficial. But if all you do is try to wrestle yourself into some ideal image, you’ve missed the point. You can swear off carbs and butter, you can spend 2 hours at the gym every day and night, you can have washboard abs and tight buns. You can also think it’s all too hard and wallow in French fries and fudge sundaes and spend far too much time sitting in front of Facebook. Either way, you seriously miss it.

It isn’t a choice between letting yourself go or sculpting your body into size 4 skinny jeans.

No. It’s a choice to love you.

Really love you. As Christ loves you. Because it’s not about a weight. It’s not about a beauty routine. It’s not about an amazing wardrobe. It’s not about controlling yourself and working yourself until you fit into some conjured up idea of beautiful.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free.

Just like Jesus said that He didn’t come to do away with the law but to fulfill it, I do believe when you recognize just how valuable, beautiful, worth it in His eyes you are, it compels you to love on yourself, to do what is best for yourself.

You.

You who puts little lives before your own, you who lives poured out… and maybe some days you feel spilled out and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising kids and the sheer not-knowing what is best for them. You who has stood beside your man and cheered him on even in the bleakest of seasons. You who walks bravely through the passing of time, enduring trials, taking scars, growing older and wiser.

You—beautiful warrior woman.

You are so valuable.

Would you, could you, start to choose yourself sometimes? Would you instill in your daughters and your sons the value of a woman by valuing yourself? Would you kindly stop comparing yourself to other women? Would you exercise and eat well and give yourself permission to take naps because we only get this one life and this one body and rest is important? Would you allow yourself to throw your hair to the wind, to celebrate and to eat cake sometimes because life needs to be enjoyed too?

I am looking at myself. Asking myself those questions. I don’t want to let myself go, get buried back here behind excuses, and exhaustion, and, well, child-raising. No, I do believe I need to hold onto to myself. Value myself. Me.

Okay. So maybe you want to start doing this with me? Maybe we can cheer each other on?

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So along these lines, I am have invited some professionals over to the blog for help with something very in particular.

Spending time on ourselves.

Each day this week (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) the girls from Glittered With Grace will be showing us simple beauty tips designed with the busy, tight-budget momma in mind.

  

Now, I certainly don’t want the message to be that in order to be beautiful on the outside one must put on make-up and style your hair big. Oh no. This is for fun. Some simple tips to put into your arsenal should you decide you need to spend more time on yourself.

(Ahem. That would be me. Also, I am so clueless when it comes to make-up and hairstyles.)

Maybe it’s just me, but when I take the extra time to put on make-up and do the hair… I feel pretty. Valuable. And it’s not a superficial thing, this outward thing reflects an inward thing. Jesus loves me, and I am precious to Him.

I can’t wait till tomorrow. These Glittered with Grace girls are so warm, endearing, and full of beauty wisdom (outside and inside too). I can't wait to introduce you to them. 

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

If you missed any of the Beauty on a Budget posts, catch up with them here:
1. On Beauty (an intro to the series from AmandaConquers)
2. Can You Get a Whole Face of Make-Up for $40?
3. Fall for Your Face
4. Black Tee and Jeans Styled Four Ways
5. What God Says...

Pssst… If you want to make sure you don’t miss a single one of these posts, subscribe to this blog by email. It’s super easy to subscribe (and it’s super easy to unsubscribe). Just click this link and enter your email address. You’ll get a confirmation email to click on and then, boom, you’re done. We can be email pals :)

Here’s some resources in line with today’s post: I wrote this about seeing your beauty after child-bearing changes your body. Honestly, on the bad days, I read it to myself to encourage myself. Ha!

Sarah Mae wrote an e-book called Frumps to Pumps. It’s kind of like 5 minute daily devotionals to challenge, encourage, and equip you to spend a little more time on yourself.