Let's Be Audacious?

Last week I got to visit my nephew for the first time in all his squishy-cheeked, sweet-smelling, 6-week newness. It made my heart so happy to get to see my six-foot-three brother (who may have farted on my head a time or two in our youth, I’m just saying) be a dad.

Isn't he just perfection? :)

I didn’t just drive down south to see my nephew; although I do admit this auntie would not have needed another reason to make that long drive.  About eight months ago, I was contacted to speak at a mom’s group. After praying about it, I said yes.

I was so excited for the opportunity. I had once upon a time dreamed of speaking and encouraging women. Over the years, as I have been fully embracing this role as a mom, wife, and daughter of God and realizing that really is enough, I had let that dream go. And here was this opportunity plopped in my lap and a green light from God and my husband to do it. I was so excited.

And then the date got closer.

And I got so (SO!) nervous.

As my car made its way to Los Angeles, my stomach made its way to my throat. I thought of how the last time I spoke in front of my church’s women’s group I completely blanked out (and I do mean completely). I thought of how this was my very first time as a guest speaker and just how clueless I felt. I thought all the ways I could misspeak, offend, or embarrass myself.

With my stomach in knots and panic just beneath this skin, I sought out a phrase that had been stuck in my head for the last two weeks. Perhaps it would be in my Bible? I googled the phrase and found it in my Bible. Have you ever felt Scripture hit you like the dawn over the horizon? Like all of a sudden you could clearly see the truth that had somehow been hiding in the dark? Yeah. This was one of those moments.

“I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker… that you live in constant terror every day… I have put My words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of My hand-- I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, 'You are My people'” (Isaiah 51:12-13, 16).

Deep down, I was afraid God would abandon me, that I would stand up there trembling and the words wouldn’t form. I was afraid of failure and rejection and a room full of blank stares. There in Isaiah is this promise God makes to be with me and this blunt reminder to not give into the fear of man.

I am pretty sure those are the two big fears we all face when we are contemplating stepping out in faith. Abandonment and failure. That if we make that big move, open our mouths to share Jesus, make some life-altering decision… God will suddenly vanish, it will all go terribly wrong and we will become the subject of gossip. I think sometimes we care way too much what people will think.

When I look back over my life, the best moments were the ones when I walked bravely into the unknown having to just trust that God would be there. Can you think back to your moments like that? I’m thinking of my summer as an intern in inner-city LA, walking down the aisle to promise the whole of my life to one man, the moment I became a momma, the conversation with a stranger that somehow led to salvation... So much uncertainty, but moments lit up by the surety of God’s presence.

Sometimes we can do really brave things.

I think sometimes we forget just how present and awesome God is and how little it matters who we are. Fear makes us forget.

I once heard faith compared to jumping off a cliff. You don’t have to know God’s going to catch you. Faith isn’t in the knowing what’s on the other side, faith is in the action and the sheer amount of audacity it takes to jump.

Those crazy brave things boil down to an invitation, followed an action, and both are laced together with a whole lot of trust.

I want to be an audacious woman. I don’t want to forget what God has done. I want to be a woman who jumps when God invites her to. I want to know just how big God is. You too?

I’m wondering, maybe we could encourage each other right here and now with our stories of those crazy brave times and how God showed up? Would you share one of your moments with us in the comments? I'd love to hear from you.

By the way, that guest speaking thing? It went so good, one of those "only God" moments. I doubt I could find the words to describe the peace of God that was upon me. I can’t tell you how it was received, but I left knowing I had said everything God had wanted me to say. Also, that mom’s group was full of beautiful, warm women. I felt like I was amongst friends. :)

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

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