I'm back from break!! Some news, some dreams, some scary and some hope.

Okay. So this picture doesn't really have anything to with this post. But seriously, red rain boots, overalls, and a super hero cape?? I may be biased because it's my son and all, but this is cute! :)

I am back from my break.

And I have some news. I have been wanting to write about what it means to follow Christ. God’s been dealing with my heart about obedience.

You know that count the cost, pick up my cross, care way more about “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done” than what anyone else thinks about me—Crazy Obedience.

Okay. And this may make me sound all super spiritual and like I am something special. I’m not. I’m just Amanda: housewife and mom who dabbles a little in writing and is falling in love with her Savior. I mess up. I get it wrong. I struggle with pride. I am easily side-tracked. I require coffee to function in the morning and have been known to growl at my husband before said coffee is flowing through me. I’ve ignored God’s voice before because I didn’t like what He asked me to do. I’m not the person that can strike up conversations with perfect strangers in the grocery store. I think you get it… I am just me.

I prayed a prayer a while back. “God I will do anything… God I don’t want to be where it’s safe anymore…” and immediately following that prayer God asked me to walk to a pub in the middle of an unfamiliar city to share the gospel with a man from the Ivory Coast. I am forever changed. God and I started on a journey of what it means to obey.

Starting February, I get to share with you some of what it means be crazy obedient… and how anyone (no matter who you are or where you’re at) can walk it out in their own life. I even have some dear-Jesus-blogging-sisters participating in this journey with me (more on this to come).

But starting right now, I think God is asking me to write here. To write my journey. Where I am at now.

This is super uncomfortable for me. I share lots of stuff here… and most of it scares me to share. But I rarely write my current struggles. I think God is asking me to share with you my daily, walking-it-out, crazy-obedience journey.

And this is scary (like 10,000 miles out of my comfort zone scary) because it means sharing some of the God-sized dreams God’s put in my heart. Dreams that I worry you would laugh at or roll your eyes at if you knew what I thought God wanted little, prideful, silly Amanda to do. I worry I will get it wrong, fail miserably, or even get it right but it be just some little tiny thing that’s no big deal when compared with, say, Heidi Baker’s crazy obedience (like why in the world would I think it’s worth sharing with you?).

And yet, in spite of the fear, I have to obey.

So today, I am driving to a gnarly neighborhood in the currently most violent city in the United States, and I am praying because God’s called me to the poor, the broken, the gang-banger, and especially the children of these. I am quieting my self to hear what God would speak. I always thought this was something I would do later in life when my kids were grown, but for some reason I think the time might be now. All of a sudden, God’s flung the door wide open.

I am terrified.

But here’s what God spoke to me this morning as I prayed: My sufficiency has an end. God’s sufficiency knows no bounds. And if God’s put a God-sized dream in your heart… yep! It means you WILL be insufficient to carry it out. But, good news: God is ALWAYS sufficient.

And when you live beyond the limits of your own abilities, you get to see God show up.

And hey reader, whether God’s asking you to do the big thing of evangelizing to perfect strangers or the what-seems-like-a-small-thing-but-is-really-a-super-big-thing of being faithful to your job or loving on your children… where you lack, you can trust Him to be sufficient. His grace, His love, His strength, His patience, His goodness… it knows no bounds.

And another little side note: Whether obedience looks like praying over a ghetto or getting up and making breakfast for little people… obedience is all God requires. And obedience is always a BIG thing to do!

So good to be back to writing! And I sure would love to hear from you. Have you ever lived outside your own sufficiency and saw God show up?? Like seriously, maybe you would share?! It might encourage us! (I know this girl could use it! :))

Amanda