A Little Update And Why I Might Need a Social Media Break
An update:
Two weeks ago, my husband and I went away for our eighth
anniversary. It was such an awesome time! We found a hobby that we love doing together
(nature/hiking/bird watching), we asked some of those really deep questions
that I don’t think we’ve asked since we were dating (like “Where do you see
yourself in 5 years?”), we stayed up late, we slept in… ‘twas glorious.
The day after we got back from vacation, I had surgery on my
sinuses. That was not glorious. I seriously overestimated my own abilities to
recover from surgery and spent at least 4 days recovering and another week of
feeling kind of crummy. I had actually scheduled something for two days after
surgery thinking I would be fine by then (ha!). I am now much better. And
hallelujah! I can breathe!
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| These pictures were from our adventure in Lake Tahoe. I will spare you the picture of me post-surgery ;) |
My heart:
I know I haven’t been the most faithful or the most frequent
blogger. I stumbled into writing and found myself loving piecing together
words, telling stories, throwing my questions onto the white space of a Word
document and seeing God somehow answer back. I think I have said it before,
writing is a key-tapping word dance between me and God.
But it’s not just writing or relationship with Christ, I
have loved connecting with you. I am not quite sure how it happened, but
blogging has given me some of my most treasured friendships. It’s given me
encouragement and camaraderie with other writers, moms, women, Christians. I
can’t tell you how thankful I am for the space you’ve made for me in your life,
even if it’s just the tiniest space in your email box and the occasional
encouraging word. Thank you!
Lately, I have become negative. I have found myself trying
to turn my relationship with God into a production. Like I want Him to speak so
that I have something to write on the blog. I have forgotten the value of
sacred—that maybe God wants to be intimate with me and doesn’t want the whole
world to hear about it the next day. (Don’t
kiss and tell?)
On the flipside, I think God has given me a message and a
book to write, but it’s like I am back in my college days the night before a
paper is due… I have found I want to write everything but what God has given me
to write. I think I might be terrified. What
if I fail? What if it gets rejected? What if I can’t complete it? It just seems
like such a huge and daunting task and really who am I to think I could write a
book that people should want to read? I think I need to put on my big girl panties and just write it.
I have found myself so full of negativity towards social
media. Not because I don’t love connecting with you all. In fact, my source of
angst is my own personal Facebook newsfeed. If I am completely honest, it feels
like everyone has an opinion or is sharing an article in which someone has an
opinion, everyone is promoting someone or something. It just seems so loud, and I don't want to add to the noise. I think somewhere along the way, I started trading knowing people with just knowing
about people. I long for the days
when I could show up to my group of friends and just catch up without anyone
stopping someone mid-sentence, “Oh yeah, I saw that you posted about that on
Facebook.”
This isn’t me saying Facebook is bad. This isn’t me
preaching to you or offering an opinion on Facebook usage. This is me saying, I
think I’ve got some unhealthy ways of
thinking and seeing. I think I have developed some bad habits. I think
for my own emotional and spiritual health, I need to step away.
I know I am offering a lot of different reasons why I am
taking a break because I want you to know me and know my heart even if it means
you see that it needs a lot of work (because I think of us as being in this
together). But really, explanations aside, I know in my knowing place that God
is calling me away. I also know that He said 40 days. Not because it’s some
kind of profound or Biblical number, but because it’s what I heard God ask of
me.
That said. I have no idea what’s on the other side of 40
days. I like to think I will be back… and with great clarity and gusto and maybe even a book proposal completed. :)
So, I am saying a brief farewell. BUT, can I just say how
much I value each one of you? And how if you would like to stay connected, be
my friend, I would LOVE that? Seriously, and I don’t just say this, you can email
me. I would love it! I am not taking a break from people or email, just
stepping away from Facebook and posting blogs. (My email: amandaconquers at gmail dot com)
I now get the chance to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, a
Merry Christmas, AND a Happy New Year all at once. And I mean it from the bottom of my
heart. I will be holding you in my thoughts and prayers this season.
So, that said, how can I be praying for you?
So, that said, how can I be praying for you?
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| I now understand the daunting task that is trying to take a family picture. This was THE ONLY picture where we were all facing forward-ish. Also, I feel the need to point out the location of my iced coffee. After going through 10 takes looking for a decent one, I died laughing when I saw that... as if it couldn't get worse. Just keeping it real, friends, and wishing you a happy holiday even if it isn't a photogenic one ;) |
By Grace,
Amanda Conquers
Okay… now I know I said I wasn’t offering an opinion about
Facebook, but in between writing and editing this post, I came across this video about loneliness in our social media age. It
really makes you think!
(If you are reading from your email, click the link above; otherwise, the video is embedded below)
The Innovation of Loneliness from Shimi Cohen on Vimeo.